Funding Nollywood, Ali Baba's Analysis

When I look at the growth of entertainment in Nigeria, I very often come to the sad realization that some of my colleagues DONT GET IT, CANT GET IT & WONT GET IT. I say this with the backing of what I have observed in the over 25 years that I have been in this industry. Though it's not the years you have been in the industry that counts. It's the years that you have made to count in the industry.

When I started performing as a stand up comedian in 1988, I did not know anything about the business of showbizness, I just wanted to perform and get paid. I was pleased with fame and the little allowances I got. I saw indications of prosperity and I decided to prove my dad wrong about choosing to be a stand up comedian (he wanted me to read law) and there were no precedent. It was a green field. It was a tough task, but thanks to the likes of Mohammed Danjuma, Yibo Koko, ALLAM Bloo, Tee-A... And many others, the rest is history.

Stand Up was new. The appreciation of it as an art form was either low or non existent. It was not even a sector of entertainment. The real sectors had stage actors, television actors, dancers, choreographers, singers, producers, slapstick comics, clowns, storytellers, radio/TV broadcasters... Etc. I tried to blend into the existing structures to find form, purpose and a launch pad. I even started appearing on radio and television shows to gain relevance.

Ali Baba Slays 'Fashion Critics' on African Glam

Ali Baba, the king of Nigeria’s comedy, turned up super elegantly attired in Urhobo (Niger Delta) traditional garb at the 3rd Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMVCA) held in Lagos this Sunday, March 7. Some overreaching red carpet “fashion police” suggested his attire wasn’t glamorous. But the comedy merchant (re)educated his critics on Africa and glamour, making sure to leave them in doubt as to whom the joke was on.

"Trust you had a great weekend. I did. And had been looking forward to sharing something with you. So, I have also been looking for a clear picture of me that was taken at the #AMVCA ... The closest I could come upon is this courtesy of @NET... But it's not about the picture itself. It was about someone who claims to be a Fashion Critic... who made a comment that I thought I should harp on.

“She said, ‘Bros, didn't you get the invite? It said “black tie”’... herself and a few of her fashion buffs had a laugh at my expense. So I let the laugh settle down and I asked, did you read the part that said ‘black tie or Glamorous?’

“I then saw one of them quickly bring her card invite holder out, read the dress code portion and shoved it back in the case. The dumbest of the four, who is also on television, said something like, but this is not glamorous.

“So I pointed at Kunle Afolayan, who was decked in AGBADA. And she was sucked in to my trick. ‘Eheeeeen! That is glamorous.’ Her cronies agreed.

“So I dropped my joker. 'Really? So it's only the traditional attire from the YORUBA or Hausa speaking part of Nigeria that is glamorous? Is that what you were taught in school? Or is that the position of your media house? Or is that all your knowledge about fashion availed you? Maybe you are TRIBALISTIC. Maybe you think AFRICANS must look like a white man to be glamorous! Maybe you have no values! By the way, I thought this was an AFRICAN Magic Viewers' Choice Awards’ (notice the capital letters)?

The Challenges of Finding Mr. Right

I have a serious matter at hand that I want to share. In fact, I should have shared this long ago, but the primary message from a friend that prompted the matter, was lost in between the series of inbox messages from those strange girls that are looking for romantic friendships on Facebook.

In a nutshell, a lady friend sent me an inbox message on how it's harder to find a good man in Nigeria. And that the men who are "manageable" (her words, not mine) are so scarce and if you ever get them they are either married to a lady that does not deserve them or just repenting from a bad marriage from one of such women. Or even just lost faith in the whole marriage thing.

I later ran into her at a club. After the usual introductions that have become common place with these social media network of friends... (You are my friend on twitter, Facebook, Tango, INSTAGRAM... That kind of thing).... I chatted with her a bit and found out from what she told me, that, many women are now settling for anything in between MR Right, MR Not just ok and MR Nearly right. As she put it, it's now a case of looking at what a guy checks out in the top 10 box... And if he has 3 out of 10, snap him up... Work on the rest 7, if you are lucky, you can get him to add 3 more of those top10 qualities... And begin to pray it lasts for as long as you both can manage.

The Challenge of Single Motherhood

Ali Baba

Single'ton, by Ali Baba

Every now and then, I meet and get messages, from ladies, who either lost their jobs, widowed, pregnant and no job, the guy who impregnated them absconded, or is around but DOESNT give a hoot, or working but can't meet the financial demands of raising kids on their own, or the guy agreed to having the babies and to support with their upkeep... But things happened and he couldn't come through with the promised support...

Single mothers are increasing in numbers consequent on one or two of the reasons mentioned above. And this always makes me ask, is it not possible to avoid being caught up in some of these tough situations? I know it’s impossible to know if you will be a widow and left with 2 or 3 kids to raise by yourself, as a mother. But when it happens, what is the solution?

Some ladies just want to have kids, because they attended a birthday party and they saw Kemi with her 2 lovely kids. They also know Kemi has no visible source of income. Wake up!!!!! Kemi has sources of income. Ruff n Tumble DOESNT dash kids clothes weekly... To be honest, you don't want to know what she does to make those kids look desirable enough to make you want to have yours. Maybe Kemi has a job. Maybe she has a rich husband. Or maybe she has a loaded boyfriend. Saved up wealth. She could be the "saving grace" of a guy who has been looking for a child. She may have rich parents. She could be a surrogate mum. Who bore the kids and is caring for the kids for the true parents.... Maybe, just maybe...