(By Joy Isi Bewaji)

I have a mathematical solution to the trepidation of witchcraft propagated and promoted by religion.

So, the church across the street has a screaming pastor (like most others)…

“They say you will not get married. They say you will not have children. They say you will not buy a car. They don’t know your God.”

Every Sunday and Wednesday, it’s the same proliferation of fear and concern about a spirit world interested in stealing children, husbands and automobiles.

OK.

Let’s ignore the hundreds of birth that occur every day. Let’s also disregard over-population, and all the fucks that should not be bringing forth any form of being.

So you want a husband and children and a car; and your religion takes a large chunk of the time praying that you get them; disturbing my peace…

How about I draw up a solution so y’all can move on with your lives? Check this out:

African witchcraft doesn’t last for more than 10 years (Sometimes even less. But you are not a patient sufferer). So let’s imagine for 10 years you cannot get a husband, have kids and drive a car. But you can do other things while the devil and the old woman in the village hold down your womb.