Of Rape and (Nigerian) Facebook Activism

(By Hymar Idibie David) - The Vex On The Go. 

We are talking about the rape issue, holding conversations, trying to consciously create a free-to-speak-up environment for victims. We are consciously trying to trend the issue into national consciousness because everyone knows social media is power. Of course it has always been a national issue, just that it is treated with hush hush and wrist-slap gloves. We didn't start talking about it today. We have always been talking about it. 

You are a decent human being. I know that. I can sense that in you. But because someone is a decent person doesn't mean they are not capable of now and then acts and utterances of just plain idiocy. 

Idiocy like calling our conversations and engagements on the rape issue noise. Social media noise. Facebook trending topic of the day(s).

I am sorry, but please clam the hell up.

 

You call it noise. You say it is repetitive. What are the alternatives to such conversations? Take to the streets? People have been doing marches against abuse. 1000 man marches against sexual violence. 

You want us to stop talking about it because, according to you, nothing is ever going to change from those conversations. Nothing good will come out of it. 

You are wrong. 

Because those conversations create an atmosphere of empathy instead of judgement, an atmosphere that comes down hard on misogynistic, rape-defensive and rape enabling views, more and more people are emerging from their cocoons of fearful silence to speak about their experiences. And in doing so they find some release if not justice. Yet. 

You ask how will those conversations bring justice. How will they do this, how will they do that? 

Nice try. 

How do you want us to go about it? You want us to invade the House of Assembly and burn the place down? You want us to stop speaking English and start speaking what? Murderese? Nnamdi Kanu did that and you took him to the cleaners. You quoted laws, constitution, instances, everything. You want us to block streets? The Biafrans did that with their crowds, their processions and you lashed out at them. 

We are just talking, but had we chosen to ignore and focused on America's Live House of Cards and Commotion or our Refugee President who is seeking asylum, you would brand us insensitive. You would say if na sub and fight we fo sabi rush chuk mouth and beg for tags, but rape victims are suffering and we are not talking about it. Facebook Celebs especially will hear grammar full. 

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. 

You say we are all mouth. You want action? Fine, lets go get every rapist, beat the snot out of them, stick pins into their dicks like voodoo dolls and finally hang them by their balls. Hope you won't come to Facebook and call us animals

You want action? You want us to stop talking and go out there and do something?

You forget even when we do, we won't stay on the streets forever. You say "Naija own na just mouth" . Black Lives Matter people, they went to the streets. They registered their discontent with the killings of black Americans. They were angry and they were tired. They went out. They rioted. They ground shit to a halt.

But you know what? At the end of the day, they went home. They had shouted loud enough to make their voices heard . 

But you know what? Their protest didn't stop the killings. And it won't. 

Laws and their enforcement , they stop crime. Okay, they don't put a stop to crime but they keep it in check. 

So what use was the protest if more and more black American males are gonna still die? It is the same as our online conversations. They create awareness. They set the pace, keep the ground wet for change, for the seeds of justice. 

We talk about Martin Luther King, did it take him one speech? Did it take him one rally? Did it take him a few deep quotes? Those Civil Rights movement folks, how many marches do you think it took them? How many talks? How many meetings before they got America's Jim Crow laws overturned. How many of you have heard of Huey Newton and his squad who carried guns, quoted the constitution, engaged racist cops? 

What I am trying to say is that for something to happen, people first have to talk about it. Not once, not twice. Conversations are an essential part of the journey to justice, to the making and implementation of laws addressing the rape problem and the victim blaming culture. 

What if I told you all that five years ago, I would have said a woman who wears miniskirts and gets raped has herself to blame. But people who knew better had conversations about consent about sexual control; bringing in facts to prove that dressing had nothing to do with rape attacks. Otherwise babies, women in Saudi Arabia and other countries with a strict 'moral' dress code would not be among the highest ratio of rape and sexual assault victims? 

How would I learn that but for conversations like this? 

How about the fact that it wasn't until 3 years ago I got introduced to the concept of spousal rape and abuse? Did I learn that from some people carrying placards on the streets? No! I learned that from 'useless repetitive Conversations'!

Just as there are people defending nonsense and arguing crap on this rape issue, there are also people taking notes, learning, listening. There are young people being reorientated out their ignorance on sex, consent and the likes. Their are husbands realizing they have been doing it wrong. There are victims, still silent, deriving strength from the fact that all the while they blamed themselves for the trauma they were subjected to, they were and are innocent. 

There's good coming out of these conversations. You just can't see it. Yet. 

It is normal to get weary after a while and take a break from swaying to the beats of our broken record. It is normal for there to be pauses now and then. It is called a conversation lull. 

But make no mistake, we are not done. And the next time we speak, our voices will be louder. And somehow, it will get into the ears of the people who are in position to make and enforce laws on rape and sexual abuse. And you will now pretend to have forgotten how you mocked and derided us and want to form, Me sef talk. Me sef dey dia that day. 

And the thunder of remembrance will look inside mirror and call your name 3 times before it strikes you with madness ijn.