Sexism, Diapers, and Making it Work in Lagos

Adibeli Nduka-Agwu

(By Adibeli Nduka-Agwu) - Sexism, Diapers and Making it Work in Lagos 

It was my first week in Lagos, squeezing in a workout at the hotel gym, when a pudgy business man I had met earlier entered and started staring. Somewhat irritated I asked: “Sorry, can I help you?” He leaned closer and beamed: “It’s ok… I just enjoy watching you sweat.” My workout was over, my work life had begun.

I left the West three years ago to work across Lagos, Johannesburg and Nairobi expanding iROKOtv.com, “The Netflix of Africa”. I’ve had male counterparts refuse to speak to me (one physically closed his eyes until my male subordinate spoke); I was asked by a male client in a packed meeting room if he could sit on my lap, and the number of business men that hoped they could conclude our deal in their hotel room is endless. Sexism has followed me to Lagos like a virus: unwanted yet unshakable. Yet (and this may surprise some), I would argue that being a woman in Lagos has felt like LESS of a career barrier for me in my work compared to my time in North America or Europe.

 Two reasons: First, it’s ok to be a strong female leader. Those traits that invariably get dismissed as “aggressive” or “bossy” when displayed by women in the West may simply be seen as the strength to buckle down and get stuff done here.

Don’t get me wrong, male ego does exists, but I find that in the African tech space that I’ve experienced, what matters most is talent and results.

iROKOtv’s senior management team is 50% female — and there is no quota in sight. In my experience, a woman can be assertive, demanding and put her foot down at work. This won’t win any popularity contests, but your career will not be held back by people’s ideas about what a female leader should be like. Secondly, it is much easier to be a working mother here. I grew up in Germany and not one of my friends-turned-mummies continued their work full time following maternity leave. Being able to take extra time off is of course a wonderful option (one that must be protected for those who want it), but for women like me who actually MISSED work during maternity, it’s challenging to return to work full time in the West. Ultimately, there’s hardly any affordable infrastructure for full time early childcare, and societal support for working mothers is often equally scarce.

When I returned to work in Lagos, I didn’t have to explain why. At the same time, I think I wouldn’t have had to explain taking extended maternity leave either. In my experience, Nigerian women can choose with less judgement. Want to stay with your child and can afford it? Great! Want to go back to work? Still great — you have a support network. You can leave your child with your mother, a relative, a trusted neighbour, a nanny or a crèche; the choice is simply yours and there are many affordable options. Nobody wonders whether your child will suffer long term trauma if you don’t spend your every second cooing over your little one. Who would have thought that it would be in Lagos that I’d score an employer who’d even create a crèche at work? Nothing has aided my return to the office as much as knowing my daughter is in excellent loving hands (whose help I can afford).

Don’t get me wrong: Lagos is not a feminist nirvana. Life isn’t easier because the glass ceiling has magically disappeared or because of daddies doing half the diaper changes. For most women, being a working mother still means having 2 full-time jobs: one at the office, one at home. What does help is that hiring help is not only acceptable but affordable. Similarly, I’ve seen no handouts for women here: we still have to run faster and jump higher. The difference is, less time is wasted trying to make leadership (when it happens to be exerted by a woman) palatable to the rest of the professional world.

So until feminism catches up around the globe, until we’ve got men leaning in all the way on child care and until all employers are willing to hire the best candidate (not the best man), I’d invite any highly skilled woman (and man) to come and join the start-up movement in Nigeria. Sexism will follow you, but I’ve found a lot more tools here to outmanoeuvre it.

Adibeli Nduka-Agwu is the Head of Growth at iROKOtv headquarters in Lagos. She was born and raised in Germany and after an education at Cambridge and Harvard decided to move ‘back’ in 2012. While frequently cursing traffic, failing electricity and poopy diapers, she’s not regretted her move for a second, but she also fully recognizes that her experiences are individual ones. Anyone interested at a career in Technology at iROKO Partners Ltd is welcome to reach out. (adi@irokopartners.com)

This article was originally posted at Africa 2.0

May 25, 2015