(Temidayo Ahanmisi)--You are all being manipulated, but you are either too
clueless or too pompous to realise this.
This is why you lend your energy to being agents in turn
of the grand delusion.
It is social media. It doesn't take a genius to control
the minds of anyone in this matrix. The subjects lend themselves for use and
control.
Once you realise this, everything falls into place and
you see your own silliness for what it is.
So I saw one of those "submission matters"
post by a dear friend this morning, and gave in to the urge to say this much,
because this friend largely "gets it" when it comes to the matter of
Feminism vis a vis Matrimony.
This much I submitted:
Feminism and Submission are contrived battles on the
social media. Those who argue on either side are caught in a spiral of delusion
and manipulation of their reasoning as well as the thoughts of the other.
I won't waste my data defining Feminism here because
truth is you ALL know the definition of Feminism. You are either blinded by
misogyny or blindsided by your obsessive focus on your favourite pet peeve
-"Facebook feminist" - to be honest about the truth of Feminism.
I don't care much for labels, but I identify as a
feminist. It doesn't faze me when friends reject the label, because truth is,
some who do are more feminist than most who self-identify as feminists.
What we have as reality in Nigeria today are different
individuals on different strata of understanding about the humanity and the rights
of women.
There is no functional Feminism movement in Nigeria,
therefore those who make long posts, mouthing off about the "evils"
of "the (new wave) Feminism movement in Nigeria" are at best deluded
or at worst mischievously dishonest since they posit and stir up a debate on a
nullity.
It is the oldest trick in external psychological
control. Those who engage with them do not see how they are sucked into the
contrivance.
Look around at the Facebook profiles which are wont to
go on and on about "submission" at every turn, advocating it for
women, mouthing off about females and generally expressing obnoxious opinions
about women and feminism.
Easily 8 out of 10 of them are either unmarried or in
acrimonious engagements with their partners.
70% of them are males with ages ranging tightly between
18 to 30. The few outliers between mid 30s to early 40s are usually divorcees
or individuals in the acrimonious engagements in reference.
The women in their fold, a few of whom identify
themselves as "anti-feminist" are simply hustling for male patronage.
90% of them are unmarried or claim to be in "complicated
relationship".
Take this to the bank. They are pitching their wares.
All na hustle.
They want well-heeled male misogynists to patronise them
for either sex-for-money liaisons or for marriage. I challenge any of them to
take me on over this.
In summary these all qualify for the mindless urban tag
of "loser category" not only in their amorous relationships, but in
virtually every other aspect of their lives - from work to social associations.
This is a social survey I personally conducted. I am not
inclined to submit pictorial or tabular data as these include names of persons.
If you are bothered sufficiently to pursue this, it would behove on you then to
conduct your own research. Feel free to counter me with sufficient evidence to
the contrary.
Why am I saying this?
I don't care for any distracting butt hurt anal
retentive dissension from any tight ass on the rough stats presented above.
They are used to suggest intensity in a literary sense and not mathematical
accuracy.
So I was talking about the "Feminism battle"
being a contrivance.
Let me expand on that:
Ask yourself this: When last did you turn on the news to
hear that the president or some governor, some state commissioner or even local
opinion leader has weighed in on an ongoing discussion on Feminism?
This simply means that Feminism is not affecting social
discourse on the streets or even in homes. There is zero awareness.
How then can you expend energy to decry "dangerous
new wave Feminism", or warn about the havoc "these fb feminists"
are causing in society, as some of you do, except that you are either terribly
insular in reasoning, lack mental independence...or are just plain dishonest as
to your true motives?
There is no organised Feminism movement in Nigeria.
There is a national council for women affairs which is just another civil
service behemoth. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Feminism.
There are in addition a few ad-hoc groups which may have
sprung up about the 80s and '90s which mouthed the term "Feminism",
but they are moribund.
You cannot talk of a movement when there is no organised
corporate activism going on about an issue.
There is therefore yet no face of Feminism in Nigeria as
a Gloria Steinem would be described, and rightly so as the face of Feminism in
America for instance.
There can be no "modern" as there is no
archaic Feminism. There is simply Feminism as sociopolitical and sociocultural
philosophy expressed in varying forms as dictated by the constructs of Time and
social evolution.
The terms "new wave
Feminist/feminazi/femidiot" etc are personal coinages and epithets which
are more a reflection of the aggress of the coiner than of the one so
described.
There is Feminism on the one hand, then there is the
"feminist" on the other as being human - nasty, decent, immoral,
altruistic...just about anything.
The behaviour of the feminist does not necessarily
reflect on Feminism except for political purposes by those who strive to tie
human person to philosophy. The purposes are almost always diabolical.
There are self-styled or self-acclaimed feminists in
Nigeria alright. Due to the demands of modern digital age, a considerable
number of these feminists are of course on the social media.
This does NOT by default mean that there is a feminist
movement. Claiming against rationality that there is a feminist movement on
Facebook or social media will not automatically make this true. You are as
wrong as your false claims.
Now to be sure (because suppositions are a trite part of
the Nigerian fact files), the term "self-styled/self-acclaimed" does
not mean automatic falsehood or nullity. It simply means that the individual or
group of individuals actually describe or identify themselves as the term.
There are feminists who do not call themselves
feminists. Some are illiterate. Some don't care. Some deliberately avoid labels
so to avoid undue pressure to conform. Some are not on the social media. They
exist.
The fact that some persons who are known as feminists
are having misunderstandings amongst themselves on the social media does not
mean that Feminism portends evil for the Nigerian society. It is grossly unfair
to blight all feminists this way.
It is necessary to point this out because the derogatory
term "Facebook feminists" is now a new buzzword wielded for mischief
for the most. It suggests that there is a natural dichotomy between what anyone
who claims to be feminist or supports gender equality and the rights of women
says on on Facebook and what they do in real time.
I will defer to the Bible in addressing this trend.
"To the base, all things are base."
You imagine hypocrisy is lurking around whenever you
encounter sound philosophy simply because you are very likely reprobate.
It is this simple.
The private issues of every feminist - self-styled or
perceived is NOT a reflection on Feminism or on women's rights in general, more
than a pastor rubbing olive oil in the genitals of his female congregants or a
Revd. King setting his subordinates ablaze is a reflection on Christianity.
It doesn't matter that these men claim to be suffering
for the cause of Christianity. Why should it then be taken as gospel when some
feminist claims to be persecuted for the sake of Feminism anytime they quarrel
over the right shade of lipstick, or whether APC is worse than PDP just on
their say so?
Let us learn to appropriate things to their correct
places, so that we can at least improve our discourse for the benefit of coming
generations.
There is a big problem in our society. We are beset by
poverty, illiteracy, cultural despotisms and an aversion to progress.
This dire cocktail is a deadly concoction which when
taken to saturation levels will only boil over to consume the weakest and most
vulnerable in our society - the female folk, and the children.
Advocating the rights to dignity, to selfhood and
economic autonomy for the Nigerian woman, whether you prefer to be called a
feminist or not is the duty of every decent human.
Gender Equality is a human right. Women's rights are
human rights. Feminism is a noble cause. It does not have to be perfect or
above the slightest reproach to be so.
Do not try to hide your acculturated disdain for the
feminine gender under Facebook arguments. Nobody represents Gender Equality in
Nigeria, so quit with that "let them change their approach, then I can
join them" talk.
No one speaks for Feminism in Nigeria. The rights of
women is a civil service issue in Nigeria - pet projects at the whims of first
ladies at best. You cannot have genuine agitation for a cause when you have
permanent secretaries, ministers, commissioners and estacodes surrounding the
discourse.
No one speaks for Feminism on the social media either.
What the lot of you so unintelligently call Feminism on the social media is a
collection of cliques on Facebook, mostly peopled by women who are vocal about
their agitation for a better lot for themselves as persons as persons.
A handful of them do social work in line with their
ideals. They socialise within and among their cliques, and as is usual in
Nigerian social groups, they quarrel. A lot. They disrespect one another a lot.
This is why the fight so often. Disrespect.
The recent hoopla over some self-acclaimed turncoat
somersaulting "feminist" who claims that her life vision is to
"expose the lies of Feminism/feminists" should tell any discerning
adult all there is to be said about "social media feminists" and
their cliques.
It would be laughable if the nonsense didn't generate
for and against teams all over Facebook Nigeria.
First it should be clear that she knows zilch about the
philosophy called Feminism. Then of course her idea of "feminist" is
solely confined to the females in the tiny cliquey enclave she hitherto
cavorted in and with which she had a private falling out. She decided to make
her angst a headache of universal proportions, even joining innocent Jesus
Christ in her dance of frivolity.
Of course, the "feminists" staked stances for
or against her depending on their personal peeves.
The insularity and myopia of these "feminists"
is only too glaring.
Dear Human of Facebook,
No one is asking you to join any thing or any group.
Quit with that dog-in-the-manger act of flitting from one "feminist
group" to the other, gleefully spreading dissension and saying "I
told you they are hypocrites". Do not be a natural scoundrel. You are made
for better things.
Stand up for the social, political and human rights of
your daughter, your wife/ves, your female employer, your gate man's sister....
EVERY WOMAN. Take this mandate to your homes, your office, your school, your
church, your religious and cultural social groups.
We don't all have to be feminists to stand up for WOMAN.
Quit dissipating energy on trashy arguments... worrying
about who is a feminist outside Facebook or not.
There is a girl child in a remote village in Ogbomosho
counting on you to quit being petty and do the right thing.
Thank you.
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