On Marriage and Feminism

(By Temi Dayo) - On Marriage and Feminism: 

You cannot be married to a Nigeriàn and be an honest feminist. Truth is, to be married under any customary provisos in Nigeria, and perhaps in nearly all of Africa, is to become an enabler of Patriarchy by default.

It starts from the point where one party (by custom) waits for the other to propose, and the other by same custom expects to propose. Then it progresses to the observance of native traditional norms - bride price, dowry payment, and perhaps religious matrimonial rites which of course are the supreme establishments and reiteration of profound symbolisms of Misogyny.

Next would come the rituals of living and all observance of the quotidian. Who cements the ultimate identity of the offspring of the marriage? From whom do they derive their last name - the name which differentiates one Susan, that John and this Amarachi from all others of same name?

There you have it. The Nigeriàn feminist, whether male or female can not cross out all of the above boxes of official acquiescence to Patriarchy.

The Symbolism of the Goddess

(By Starhawk) - "The symbolism of the Goddess is not a parallel structure to the symbolism of God the Father. The Goddess does not rule the world; she is the world. Manifest in each of us, She can be known internally by every individual, in all her magnificent diversity. ...

The importance of the Goddess symbol for women cannot be overstressed. The Image of the Goddess inspires women to see ourselves as divine, our bodies as sacred, the changing phases of our lives as holy, our aggression as healthy, our anger as purifying, and our power to nurture and create, but also to limit and destroy when necessary, as the very force that sustains all life. Through the goddess, we can discover our strength, enlighten our minds, own our bodies, and celebrate our emotions. We can move beyond narrow, constricting roles and become whole.

The Goddess is also important for men. The oppression of men in Father God-ruled patriarchy is perhaps less obvious but no less tragic than that of women. Men are encouraged to identify with a model no human being can successfully emulate: to be minirulers of narrow universes. They are internally split, into a 'spiritual' self that is supposed to conquer their baser animal and emotional natures. They are at war with themselves: in the West, to 'conquer' sin; in the East, to 'conquer' desire and ego. Few escape from these wars undamaged.

Parents Teach Your Daughters Dignity

(By Joy Isi Bewaji) 

Parents, teach your daughters dignity.

From wives fighting side-chicks to desperate young women dragging the hem of one bloke, to women giving up dreams and ambitions just to be with just about any man, to women dying in marriages; this sad and filthy objective of becoming a leech under the façade of culture; having children without income. This nonsense of a man telling a grown ass woman, sometimes highly educated, not to have a job, has to stop! The idea that a woman can sit and make no money under the pretext of motherhood and marriage is frightening to even consider, especially in a society where alimony is a pipe that holds no water.

We are still promoting the position of a housewife as an honourable thing. How can that be when all you have is determined by the disposition of another human – a man? How can being a housewife and NOT making money be a good thing when you can lose everything the minute a husband finds you less attractive, old, fat? How?

A man and his brother killed his wife because he had to be with another woman. Women are treated as disposable items because women will not stop being dependent on men and the silly patriarchal ideals of dependency/entitlement wrapped around religion, culture and society.

Nigerian Patriarchy, American Patriarchy

(By Temidayo Ahanmisi) - 

America (read: The US) is a patriarchy.

Nigeria is a patriarchy.

America strongly discourages polygamy, domestic violence, spousal rape and other acts which denigrate the self-worth of the female person.

Beyond a sociological aversion for all these, America creates and maintains institutional agencies to push her cultural preferences, so that even though she remains a patriarchy, the birth of a female child is not as tantamount to a mild tragedy which must be endured and borne stoically at best, as most in Nigeria have been forced over time to see it as in our enclave.

America is a patriarchy.

Nigeria is a patriarchy.

The American legal system won't let anyone on their soil withdraw their underaged daughter and go marry her off to a man because she is a girl.

In patriarchal America.

No cultural paradigm can be foolproof as they are results and by-processes of conscious evolution of a developing species.

Patriarchy, Misogyny, and Gender Relations

(By Temidayo Ahanmisi)--It's interesting though seeing die hard misogynists coming out from the woodworks...literarily. Like the craven worms they truly are.

The oodles of comic outrage about the president's "other room" gaffe just makes me want to chuckle and choke someone dead in amusement.

I mean..like...really?

"My wife belongs in my heart, my life, my office..."

"I am a mother, a wife, a career woman. I don't belong in the..."

Aaaah spare me!

Nobody fucking cares. Go suck a lemon...

Widowhood Rites: The Silent Pain of a Widow

Source: theleaderassumpta.com

(Kinda Delphine)--Few years ago, I was a radio presenter for a women rights program called ‘Every Woman’ (2006) Even though my co-presenter and I were still not very clear what women’s rights is, we somehow managed to hold inspiring discussions on air about gender inequality. On one edition, we got a call from a listener who was sharing her experiences about widowhood rights. She told us of the great love that she and her husband had once shared and how all of that was rub to the mud and she was abused and dehumanized by the traditional rites that her husband’s family put her through during the funeral.

You may not have heard it, but there is something called Widowhood rites in most parts of Africa and maybe in other parts of the world too. These are specific things that the wife of a deceased man has to fulfill but there is no such thing as widower rites. At least I have not heard of it!

When a WIFE dies, society sympathizes with the widower. When a HUSBAND dies, the community starts questioning the circumstances surrounding the death of the man and examine ‘invincible’ motives that his wife may have to kill him. Without any proof or trial, widows are accused of killing their husbands.