Naija Celebs and Political Prostitution, by Etcetera

Some say Afro Candy is a prostitute. Some say she’s not or at least, not yet. A few others say she’s a porn star, which is not in the same league as prostitution. Porn stars are taxed, prostitutes are not. So Afrolicious baybay, you have to up your game to get into the league of prostitutes, if it is what you really desire. My suggestion would be; instruct your agent or booker to get you appearances in any of the political campaign videos, so you can put to use that floppy behind your mama gave you.

And if you are lucky enough, you can get cameos and wiggle that thing around the aspirants themselves. You have to get your bum (sorry your hands) bloodied to earn the highly coveted “Political prostitute” tag. Now my Candilicious Afrolistic baybay, these are a few names of the latest political prostitutes in the country: Olamide, Banky W, Don Jazzy, Flavour, Duncan Mighty, D banj, Mercy Johnson, Ibinabo, Ini Edo, Mama Gee, Naeto C, Joseph Yobo, Daddy Showkey, Kanu Nwankwo, and Sammie Okposo.

"Thank God Entertainers Lost Their Primaries," Etcetera

My dear entertainers who just lost out in your quest for public office, can you please gbe enu e soun so that we can concentrate on the election at hand? Despite your claims, we all know the reasons why you sought public office in the first place. So many Nigerians have hurt their knees in praying to God to rid this nation of political miscreants and people with selfish motives in seeking public offices. So the fact that you all lost your primaries is a gargantuan sign that the system does not see you as worthy representatives of the Nigerian youths. 

You are the reasons why the youths are only being regarded as the future in a time like this when we are supposed to be the present. Why is it surprising to you that you lost in the primaries? The system has been analytically taking notes of your below the par exploits even within the madhouse we call entertainment industry. Don’t you get it, because you are in the sacred ministry of receiving brown envelopes doesn’t make you qualified to administer or make laws.

"Nigerian Pastors Need to be Born Again," Etcetera

Etcetera

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again” (John 3:1-7). 

Pastors are supposed to be the conscience of the society. They are supposed to be God’s representatives here on earth. Like Elisha in the Bible, they are supposed to warn the people about the dangers of disobeying God and guide them to the path of righteousness. They are supposed to lead by example.

Today, some pastors are the problems of the society. The lifestyle of some pastors is contradictory to what they preach. It has got so bad that when a man introduces himself as a pastor, he attracts immediate suspicion. Scandals and controversies have eaten too deep into the church like an incurable cancer.

Like electric poles, churches are springing up all over the country and their general overseers or CEOs are fast emerging as the richest men in the country. Some Nigerian pastors represent their stomach instead of Christ. Churches have been turned into banks and business centres with branch pastors given targets for increased turnover by headquarters.

Most of these new breed churches only preach prosperity because preaching salvation will impact negatively on the church’s GDP. Some of today’s pastors, after their failed attempts at finding a means of livelihood, hire a classroom and start a church.