(By
Motunrayo Agusto) - A few days ago, I had an amazing conversation with a
60-year-old man about why I’m married but not changing my surname. It was just
the beginning of a broader and longer conversation about women in our society.
I haven’t met many people, across any generation, who seek to understand views
that are different from theirs and particularly, who open their minds to
understanding a woman’s right to choose. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to this
lovely man who I’d refer to as Mr. F going forward.
Mr. F started by asking me “Why?”
I explained, “changing my name
is not a natural inclination of mine. It’s not something I have ever really
considered doing or aspired to do. It’s just not my truth.”
What I didn’t tell him is that,
at age 16, I didn’t even want to get married. I wanted to be President and my
good friend Mr. A, who is from the Niger Delta region, was going to be my
running mate because that would reflect Federal Character. Clearly,
I didn’t fully understand how it works LOL! Plus, let’s not get into the ironic
course of my young adulthood. Anyway, that was the future I envisioned. That
was my truth.
There are probably women everywhere who
have looked forward to getting married since they were 16, and fantasised about
being called Mrs. XYZ. They might value the cohesion of their families sharing
one surname or maybe just don’t think of this as a necessary topic of
discussion because the norm is the norm. Whatever their reasons, this is their
right and it is their truth.
Women do and should always have the right to choose. That’s why I
define feminism as a woman’s right to choose.
