Saturday, July 22, 2017

Praise God By Using Your Damn Brain, Nigerians!

(By Joy Isi Bewaji

I think you all need to be angrier than you have been. I’m referring to those who have managed to lose heads over my post on religion. Your hair needs to catch fire too. Until then, I am still ranting.
I assume the kind of praise that will make God very happy could be something of these sorts:
The praise of Community Development and National Growth, which starts from the details of your lifestyle and your choices.
Praise God by ensuring your worship centres do not cause agonizing traffic. How do you reconcile road distress with a perfect God? How?
Praise God by being efficient employees at your place of work. Give more than is required. Ensure the company grows. Do not hold back your ideas for when you want to start your own business. Care greatly about where your salary comes from. If you don’t contribute to its growth, how do you justify praising a God of progress?
Praise God by NOT praising God when it is time to work. Let those hands you point to heaven come down and work. Work, damn it.

Praise God by paying your staff. I know of a “god-fearing” man who pays in cartons of noodles every quarter whilst his family lounges in the Bahamas.
Praise God by ensuring no maid in your house is a minor. Let's stretch that to other activities you close your mind to: the rape of a minor by someone you know, the crime swept under the rug by the school your child attends. Does your religion teach you cowardice? Only to rise when others rise? Only to have a voice when others are screaming? Only to hide your angst in the midst of ignorant angst-ers? God’s child living constantly in the shadows of others? Do you get your strength only from the fury of others? Where is your guts, where is your grit? But first where is your thirst to know the world and all its intrigues and illumination – this world created by the God you claim to serve?
Praise God by insisting every child within your reach is educated. We need to break this horrifying mental shackles we rejoice in. This dread of engagement and enlightenment that break out as a rash is sad (I find it hilarious). Last year, we paid for the education of young girls in Ajegunle. It cost us barely N25,000 for each teenager for an entire year. Send someone to school today, watch God dance joyfully in heaven.
Praise God by ensuring none of the mess we call politicians make it into office again. Do not pick one evil over another. That’s the work of the devil. Praise God by NOT insisting your choice of a leader is by God. It is YOU and your greed and desperation. Stop with the spiritual manipulations.
Praise God by reading. Pick a book that can help your lacklustre mind. Invest in alternative knowledge.
Praise God by making clear distinction of the praises of God by many Nigerians who do not find the lifestyle of fraudsters, kidnappers, thieving authorities (to be) criminal.
Praise God by condemning the praises of god that maintain the status quo that is yet to make better our society. Praise God by allowing your mind question everything.
A third world country with no electricity, poor education, high mortality rate, poor health facility, poor transport system, gutters for roads, zero loan scheme needs to praise God differently from how it has practised the praising of God for decades. The white man who introduced Christianity as a form of distraction from the affliction of slavery has built developed societies that we are all dying to own. Their hands are not up to heaven. They’ve got those hands on the plough working their asses off. They have built systems that work…even when once in a while they find idiots in power or position, the system proves to be more powerful. In Nigeria, we practice subtle totalitarianism in every available section, always looking for one individual to save us – from a religious head that cannot be questioned to political positions and occupiers who cannot be moved, to teachers who refuse to be questioned by their students, to security agents averse to inquiries.
We are running systems where all that is required of us is a nod and a - “Yes, sir.” Anything beyond that is rude, caustic, rebellious.
Be rude then. Be caustic. Be rebellious. 
I still stand with my previous assertions – praises as we know it to be will not solve our many problems. And when, in response, you say your praises are meant for your own edification, it is quite the narcissistic riposte. The biting insincerity of your modest practice of worship that is truly a selfish act. 
Of course, you should be allowed to be selfish… just as I should be allowed to question everything.
PS: There've been many edited versions of my post by the largely ignorant masses...But those who know, know. 
Even if truly the only person on my side is Temidayo Ahanmisi - the only woman who aligns with my spirit, I know I will make heaven (the irony). LOL!


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