Nigeria Northern Elite Deceive People With Religion, Bishop Kukah

Bishop Kukah

The Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sokoto, Matthew Kukah, tells TOBI AWORINDE that the foundation for the Boko Haram crisis in parts of the North was laid years back by leaders of the region

It’s over six months since the abduction of the Chibok schoolgirls. Should the Federal Government/military have taken more dire measures by now?

I know that we are anxious and, like every citizen, the feeling of hopelessness is numbing and even humiliating. But what is most important to the girls, their parents and us all is their safety, sanity and life. I want to believe the government and our military are doing their best, given the seeming cynical, hypocritical posturing of some of our international friends who love our oil and care about milking us more than they love us. Whatever it takes, whenever they are free, we want to see them alive and hopefully healthy. Their healing is another project, but I do not believe that their predicament is the result of the lack of will on the part of the government or the military agencies.

Reasons You Are Not Married, Amara Nwosu

Amara

You are not married not because there is no man ready for marriage as a good number of men are looking for life partners. The major reason Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness. Men are now afraid because they don’t know who to trust and also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact.

They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.

A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.

Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?

Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.

How Not to Write About Africa: A Beginner's Guide

Nairobi

Nairobi is a good place to be an international correspondent. There are regular flights to the nearest genocide, and there are green lawns, tennis courts, good fawning service. You can get pork belly, and you can hire an OK pastry chef called Elijah (surname forgotten) to work in your kitchen for $300 a month.

If you work for one of the major newspapers, or television and radio services, chances are you live in Nairobi or Johannesburg. To make your work easier, you need, in your phone, the numbers of the country directors of every European aid agency: Oxfam, Save the Children. To find these numbers is not difficult: chances are these guys are your neighbours, your tennis partners.

How to Write About Africa II: The Revenge

Novelists, NGO workers, rock musicians, conservationists, students, and travel writers track down my email, asking: Would you please comment on my homework assignment / pamphlet / short story / funding proposal / haiku / adopted child / photograph of genuine African mother-in-law? All of the people who do this are white. Nobody from China asks, nobody from Cuba, nobody black, blackish, brown, beige, coffee, cappuccino, mulatte. I wrote “How to Write about Africa” as a piss-job, a venting of steam; it was never supposed to see the light of day. Now people write to ask me for permission to write about Africa. They want me to tell them what I think, how they did. Be frank, they say, be candid. Tell it like it is. I have considered investing in a rubber stamp.

I have imagined myself standing at the virtual borders of Africa, a black minuteman with a rubber stamp, processing applications — where YES means “Pass go, pay one hundred dollars,” and NO means “Tie ’em up and deport ’em.” It’s almost a sexual thing. They come crawling out of the unlikeliest places, looking to be whipped. I am bad, Master Binya, beat me. Oh! Beat me harder. Oo! They seem quite disappointed when I don’t. Once in a while I do, and it feels both good and bad, like too much wasabi. Bono sent a book of poems.

How to Write About Africa

Always use the word ‘Africa’ or ‘Darkness’ or ‘Safari’ in your title. Subtitles may include the words

‘Zanzibar’, ‘Masai’, ‘Zulu’, ‘Zambezi’, ‘Congo’, ‘Nile’, ‘Big’, ‘Sky’, ‘Shadow’, ‘Drum’, ‘Sun’ or ‘Bygone’. Also useful are words such as ‘Guerrillas’, ‘Timeless’, ‘Primordial’ and ‘Tribal’. Note that ‘People’ means Africans who are not black, while ‘The People’ means black Africans.

Never have a picture of a well-adjusted African on the cover of your book, or in it, unless that African has won the Nobel Prize. An AK-47, prominent ribs, naked breasts: use these. If you must include an African, make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dress.

In your text, treat Africa as if it were one country. It is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall, thin people who are starving. Or it is hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates. Don’t get bogged down with precise descriptions. Africa is big: fifty-four countries, 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands, savannahs and many other things, but your reader doesn’t care about all that, so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticular.

The Moment Mandela Was Angry With Nigeria

"It is better to help a friend pay his fine, than tell a lie to help him cover a crime."  - Nigerian proverb.

It was literally a life-long ambition, and I used every opportunity to meet the old man in person. I was finally in a position to press buttons and call old friends to render favours, and in early 2007 I succeeded. I was told I could see Mandela for only 30 minutes at his home, but I needed to get there one hour earlier. Colleagues I had leaned on were skeptical that I would see him despite the appointment, particularly since I will not say it was official. An old South African friend and course mate from South Africa who helped, suggested I asked questions or matters I wanted to discuss with him and send them in advance. I did not think that was the type of meeting I wanted, so I did not.

Mandela was surprised when he was told I worked at the Nigerian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, but had spent 6 months trying to see him to pay my personal respects. Why did you not go through your colleagues here? I told him the visit was not official. I just wanted to meet him. He relaxed and apologized that it had taken that long for me to see him. Others left us, except a lady who sat discreetly away from us. I thought she was a medical person.

The Day Prof. Ali Mazrui Cried

Prof. Mazrui

Kwaheri, Mazrui arap Mombasa.

You reached your destination-

A thousand miles beyond the boundary.

I was a witness.

Now, you’ve set forth

On a trip across the sacred cloud.

Sorry, I couldn’t deliver

"The Trial of Ali Mazrui"

Before the bracket closed.

But you can be sure

It has set sail,

Far beyond the bondage

Of our triple heritage.

As we mourn the passing of a great African intellectual, Prof. Ali Mazrui, I present to you a 2007 dispatch from Christopher Okigbo International Conference at Harvard University.

Before then, I had met and interviewed Professor Mazrui twice. But on that day, I saw an Ali Mazrui that I had never seen before.

For many scholars of African literature, Ali Mazrui was an outsider who crashed into the African literature party on the wings of Christopher Okigbo. His one and only novel, “The Trial of Christopher Okigbo,” made him a factor in literary discourse.

With notoriety comes despise. Mazrui is so despised that more scholars are not on talking terms with him than those who are.

That Ain't Right: Teachable Moment for the Nigerian Christian

I am getting old. I don't know how I could have forgotten this story, given its relevance to the Nigerian tragedy (a tragedy which shall prevail until we make some progress in rewiring the atrocious psychology of the Nigerian).

My brother from another mother, Bayo Aregbesola, a Director in Canada’s Federal civil service, reminds me of something that happened during our days at the University of British Columbia in the 1990s. Those were our wild oats graduate student days. We crawled the nightclubs of Vancouver to get our beering right between intra and interracial dating.

Bloody Randy Naija Pastors by Charly Boy

Ol boy my mouth no fit talk, but my fingers no go fall my hand. Kai! Blood of Jesus.  I like the truth because a lot of people can’t stand the truth; it makes many of us uncomfortable because many of us are just living out our fake lives.

This write up is about all the sex scandals going on in the church, about The Bloody Randy Men of God who are busy screwing their female congregation, breaking marriages and turning the bible upside down to fit their slimy nature. So, if you are one of those Jesus people who can’t see the flit in your church, sorry, keep living in denial.

STOP. You don’t have to read this.

How can a man of God “fall so easily into temptation” Are they not supposed to be on a higher moral ground than simpletons like us? These predatory pastors love to prey on their victims. It is a preplanned, master manipulative, controlling, calculated ‘decision’. Sadly, most congregations are aware about the bull-crap going on in their church. But like the dumb ignorant Naijas we are, corrupted by fear and the uncertainty of tomorrow, we look the other way. Oh God!

Nigerian Politicians, Here They Come Again

As a member of the Niger State Chapter of the Christian Corpers Fellowship in 1989/90, I was close to one particular sister who happened to be the prettiest in our set. My closeness to her put me in a position to know that in the course of our service year, no fewer than five brothers "received" for this sister (a Pentecostal euphemism which means God had directed them to seek her hand in marriage). Curiously, every of these brothers had an interesting account of the way God 'spoke' to him about the sister. But this, as I would find out later, did not also prevent 'God' from speaking to these brothers about other sisters. The truth, however, is that the brothers were not led by God; they admired the sister, evidently for her beauty, and lacking the courage of their conviction, they had to come in spiritual garb.

Apologies To The Past by Okey Ndibe

Last Wednesday—the 54th anniversary of Nigeria’s Independence—was a day of silence for me. I didn’t have the stomach to leave any comment on Facebook or Twitter. Two or three friends and family members sent me texts of felicitation. Demure, I merely wrote back: Thanks!

But at the back of my mind I was thinking, What is all the fuss about? What was one supposed to celebrate?

Last Wednesday, Nigeria reminded me of nothing so much as—to invoke the title of Wole Soyinka’s short polemical book—an open (festering) sore.

I know: many super-“patriotic” Nigerians now insist that, before one says a critical word about our dear, dear Nigeria, one must first pause to count the country’s blessings. So let’s count them.

Blessing Number One: We all woke up on October 1, 2014 and Nigeria was still there. As we Nigerians love to say, nothing spoil. We still had our transformational president sitting pretty in Abuja, he and his beloved wife amused to see all the “transformation ambassadors” staging rallies all over the country to draft him to run again, to win again (by a landslide of course), and to, once again, bestow on us that magic rule of his that created so much prosperity that Nigerians raced to the front ranks of private jet ownership in the world.

Omotola Acts Better than Genevieve

(Charles Novia)--Congratulations to the Nollywood recipients of the Nigerian National Awards which took place today [September 29, 2014] in Abuja.

Kenneth Nnebue, Joke Silva and Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde were each given National Honours by President Jonathan today.

Kenneth Nnebue is generally acknowledged as the founder of the home video industry in Nigeria which later snowballed into Nollywood. His epoch-making movie 'Living in Bondage' which he Executive Produced in 1992 generated the unleashing of creative spirits in Nigeria who followed his footsteps and used the affordable home video technology to exhibit their gifts. Perhaps without Nnebue's foray into that sector, the likes of me and thousands of others would never have found the creative leeway we used to show our talents. His award is belated though. But better late than never.

Ebola Epidemic: Where are the Faith Healers in Africa?

As the governments of West Africa struggle to contain the spread of the Ebola virus, I am wondering where all the men and women of God who claim they can heal the sick and who conduct faith healing sessions in countries across the region are.

Where are all the continent’s miracle workers now that people desperately need healing; where are the anointed men and women of God now governments urgently need to contain the spread of Ebola? Where are all the pastors and preachers who have built their religious and business empires marketing miracle cure claims to gullible, ignorant desperate folks in cities and villages across Africa over the years? Have their miracle stocks suddenly gone dry? Or don’t they have any miracle package that is compatible with Ebola? What are our faith healers doing now? Can’t they singly or jointly take the spiritual battle against Ebola to affected communities and demonstrate to the world that their God is truly a miracle God?

Where are the T B Joshuas, David Oyedepos, Enoch Adeboyes, Kumuyis of this world and other anointed men and women who claim to be in direct communication with god in matters concerning healing? Why can’t T B Joshua travel down to Sierra Leone or Liberia and cast this ‘demon’ of Ebola into the Ocean once and for all? Why can’t the Nigerian government allow Ebola patients to come to the Synagogue in Lagos so that they can receive their healing from the quaking anointed hands of Prophet T B Joshua or be delivered by the most revered  Enoch Adeboye and David Oyedepo? 

Nwulite Asụsụ Na Omenala Igbo

Mwulite Asụsụ Na Omenala Igbo Na Kọleeji Ọzụzụ Ndị Nkụzị: Ụzọ A Pụrụ Ịgbaso

Ebere Dominic Chibuzor

Ngalaba Asụsụ Igbo, Kọleeji Ọzụzụ Ndị Nkụzị Gọọmenti Etiti Dị Na Kano.

dominozion@yahoo.com

Ụmi Edemede

Ọtụtụ mgbe, imeriime ụmụ afọ Igbo anaghị eji asụsụ Igbo ebido ikwu okwu. Tụmadị ndị nne na nna ha rụrụ ọrụ bekee n’obodo ndị mepere emepe na mpụga ala Igbo. Ọtụtụ n’ime ha ji asụsụ a gwara ogwa akọwapụta uche ha. Maka ụmụaka ndị dị etu a, ohere ọzọ ha nwere ịmụta asụsụ na omenala Igbo bụzị n’ụlọakwụkwọ. E ruo n’ ụlọakwụkwọ, ọ naghịkwa adịịmfe n’ihi na ha na-amụzị asụsụ Igbo dị ka asụsụ nke abụọ. Ọnọdụ a wee bụrụ nnukwu ihe ndọlaazụ nye ọmụmụ asụsụ na omenala Igbo. Ụta adịghịrị ụdị  ụmụaka ndị a n’ihi na ọ bụ asụsụ nwata na-anụkarị na gburugburu ebe obibi ya ka ọ na-ebu ụzọ amụta.  Ọ bụ nke a kpatara o ji dị oke mkpa ịchọ ụzọ a ga-esi chọpụta ma gbochie ihe ndọlaazụ niile na-egbochi ezi agamnihu n’ọmụmụ asụsụ na omenala Igbo n’ụlọakwụkwọ tụmadị na Kọleeji ebe a na-azụpụta ndị ga-akụzịasụsụ ndị a. N’ime nke a, ihe nchọcha a gbasoro usoro nchọcha nkọwasi na nnyocha ya. Ihe nchọcha a gosipụtara na enweghị mmasị so bụrụ nnukwu ihe ndọlaazụ nye ọmụmụ asụsụ na omenala Igbo. Ọ kwadoro usoro nkụzị ga-akwalite mmasị ụmụakwụkwọ n’ọmụmụ asụsụ ụ nke ga-eme ka asụsụ, tụmadịasụsụ nne nọrọ n’ogo kwesịrị ya n’ọmụmụ ihe. N’ikpeazụ, a chịkọtara ihe niile a rụtụrụ aka n’edemede ma site na ya wepụta ndụmọdụ na mmechi zuru oke.

Nigeria @ 54: The Nigeria I Dream Of

...A land where WE allow

[The] God of creation

Direct our noble cause

Guide our leaders right

Help our youth the truth to know

In love and honesty to grow

And living just and true

Great lofty heights attain

To build a nation where peace

And justice shall reign.