Marriages, Parents & Their Religious Obsession

(Chioma Nnani)--How Can You Love Your Religion More Than Your Child?

Wedding ceremonies have a tendency to be stressful.

Oh-so-many decisions to be made.

Cake. Five-tier or a single cake? Vanilla or red devil? Butter icing or whatever else there is?

Food. Mediterranean or Chinese? Sit-down or buffet?

Wedding gown. Designer or high street? Blinding white or pale pink?

Guest list. Does ‘small’ mean 200 or 1200? Does my father’s distant cousin have to attend?

Seating arrangements to cater to warring family members.

Breathing exercises … and remembering that killing family members is still classed as a crime.

Venue. Beach front or church?

How much of the groom’s wishes to ignore (all he has to do is fork out cash on demand and show up on the day, right?)

Budget. Yes, you want a Siberian tiger, but your bank account is looking more like house-cat that purrs. If you want more excitement, hope that an alley-cat screeches in.

Like I said before – stressful!

The Two Shall Become One Flesh (Part 2)

The Carters

This journey called marriage does not just happen; it is a process, it grows.  It has to be worked at; it has to be nurtured. Some elements are therefore necessary to keeping this journey on course.  To start with, as I said above, marriage is a journey of the heart.  It is a journey embarked on with the heart.  The heart is so vital an organ and yet so fragile that minor irritations pose serious danger to it.  Something as insignificant as a grain of sand bruises the heart and causes it to bleed. The same is true of marriage.  Issues that are thought “insignificant” and are left unaddressed bruise and hurt marriages. It is stating the obvious that the two people on such a journey should have certain things in common.  They should not only love each other, but should also be friends, friends who understand or strive to understand each other.

But in addition to such core attributes as love, friendship, and understanding, marriages should also rest on equally important values like fidelity, respect, and tolerance.  Fidelity is the call to sexual faithfulness to one's spouse.  To him/her alone does your body belong, whole and entire.  Remember, “for this reason a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one flesh.”  To cheat on your spouse is to cheat on and injure your own flesh.  There are some men and women who find it very difficult to even imagine their spouse cheating on them, but then they wantonly cheat on that same spouse, with no regard for the sacredness of their marriage vows.  You must actually hate your own flesh to cheat on your spouse.  But according to St. Paul, “no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it” (Ephesians 5:29).