To All Mothers--On Uka Nne

Nigerian novelist Buchi Emecheta spoke of the Joys of Motherhood in her book with the same title--the often unacknowledged labor that mothers put in daily to nurture their families. 

        On this Mother's Sunday, Uka Nne, I wish all mothers the best that motherhood offers: May your children rise up everyday to bless you for your loving care, and may your husband praise you as the one that smiles fortunes into his future (Proverbs 31: 25, 28). 

        May your dreams for yourself and for your family come true. And may God keep you smiling and relishing the joyful joys of motherhood. 

        Happy Mother's Sunday. And keep smiling. 

        Together with the Nigerian mothers we intone O bu onye ga-abu mama m? Nne m o! (Who will be my mama? My mother); with Prince Nico Mbarga, we sing the evergreen, Sweet mother, I no go forget you; and with Onyeka Onwenu, we belt out, Chukwu biko gozie ochie dike mama (God, please bless my dear strong mum).

The Two Shall Become One Flesh (Part 2)

The Carters

This journey called marriage does not just happen; it is a process, it grows.  It has to be worked at; it has to be nurtured. Some elements are therefore necessary to keeping this journey on course.  To start with, as I said above, marriage is a journey of the heart.  It is a journey embarked on with the heart.  The heart is so vital an organ and yet so fragile that minor irritations pose serious danger to it.  Something as insignificant as a grain of sand bruises the heart and causes it to bleed. The same is true of marriage.  Issues that are thought “insignificant” and are left unaddressed bruise and hurt marriages. It is stating the obvious that the two people on such a journey should have certain things in common.  They should not only love each other, but should also be friends, friends who understand or strive to understand each other.

But in addition to such core attributes as love, friendship, and understanding, marriages should also rest on equally important values like fidelity, respect, and tolerance.  Fidelity is the call to sexual faithfulness to one's spouse.  To him/her alone does your body belong, whole and entire.  Remember, “for this reason a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one flesh.”  To cheat on your spouse is to cheat on and injure your own flesh.  There are some men and women who find it very difficult to even imagine their spouse cheating on them, but then they wantonly cheat on that same spouse, with no regard for the sacredness of their marriage vows.  You must actually hate your own flesh to cheat on your spouse.  But according to St. Paul, “no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it” (Ephesians 5:29).

The Two Shall Become One Flesh (Part 1)

The Obamas

A certain old man had a habit of always asking his wife of many years, “Do you love me, dear?”  And as often as he asked, his darling wife would respond, “Yes, I do, dear.” Once, an inquisitive grandchild queried the old man, “Why do you always ask Grandma if she loves you?” The old man answered, “to stay connected, dear child.  Of course, I know she loves me; but I have to ask nonetheless.  Any day she responds, ‘no,’ I know that whatever the cause of her dissatisfaction, it has not gone beyond twenty-four hours.  And as such it can still be fixed right away. Our recollections of it are still fresh.  So we can address it immediately.  It hurts to let such an issue go unaddressed for more hurts build on it and then much later it becomes a lot more difficult to actually identify the initial cause.”  What wisdom!  Andre Maurois keeps it short and sweet, “a successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.”

I have always admired the enduring grace of many marriages.  Those marriages that are said to be made in heaven.  Yes, I say grace because it takes much more than human efforts to keep such marriages lasting forever, for better for worse, till death do they part.   At the same time I also agonize over those marriages that don’t last, those marriages that seem to be riddled with tears and pains, the ones that, so to say, are built on shaky, sandy foundations and as such exist on the brink of collapse.  These might be marriages that are built on erroneous ideals, on deceits, or as the case may be marriages between good intentioned couples, but then, something went irretrievably wrong along the line. As we say (a la, Phil Collins’s 1990 hit single), something happened on the way to heaven.  I guess one is never really certain of the end from the outset.  But then, those who embark on this journey (yes, for that’s what marriage is, a journey; a journey of the heart—ije obi, I call it) with openness, patience, respect, tolerance, faithfulness, and of course prayer, make their destination, even amidst tears and pains, but, more often than not, with joy, smiles, and consolation.

Love is Sacrifice

Valentine’s Day has come and gone; and many a love has been won and lost, many a heart healed and broken, many a relationship strengthened and destroyed. Businesses have counted their profits.  Tons of gift items exchanged hands.  Red roses. Chocolates. Cards. Perfumes. Watches.  Diamonds.  Yes, diamonds are forever.  And a lady’s best friend?  Houses and cars made the gift list too. 

Valentine’s Day is such good business that despite the recent global financial meltdown “love spending” around the world has remained on an ascending curve. Last year [2011], according to USA’s National Retail Federation, Americans alone were expected to spend USD $15. 7 billion (N2.5 trillion naira) for Valentine’s Day on everything from flowers to trinkets and jewelry. Who says bad economy affects love?

But how many of us have actually taken the time to examine the significance of Valentine’s Day in our personal lives, in the lives of our family?  What does Valentine’s Day call us to?  As the legend goes, St. Valentine died for love, in the example of Jesus Christ.  He died that others may live, and love.  He, like Jesus Christ, sacrificed his life.

Love is sacrifice. To love is to sacrifice; and those who love sacrifice their all. Everything, on that altar of love.  Without counting the cost. John 3:16 tells us: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son…”  God sacrificed the “only” thing he had, so to say.  Out of love.  That we may have life and live, in abundance.  And out of that same love, Jesus Christ sacrificed his own life on the Cross.  “For no greater love has anyone than to lay down their life for their friends” (John 15:13).  With his life, he bought us for God, making us sons and daughters, co-heirs to God’s eternal kingdom.

Remember, You're Dust...

It was quite a sight on Wednesday, 22 February (2012), as many Christians showed up at different places, offices, banks, hospitals, bus-stops, and markets across Lagos (and across the world too), with ashes on their foreheads.  That these Christians included men, women and children; a mix of high-flying business executives, bank managers, traders, market women, bus drivers, and okada riders did not help matters.  More so, for the uninitiated, the fact that the ashes traced the sign of the cross made the sight a bit eerie.  “Has any cult come abroad for some mission?” They might have wondered.

For Christians, however, it was a sobering day. It was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  Lent is the forty-weekday period of prayer, fasting and abstinence, and almsgiving before Easter Sunday. Christians troop to churches to receive ashes on Ash Wednesdays. The ashes come from the burnt palm fronds from the previous year’s Palm Sunday.

At Christ the King, Ilasamaja, Lagos, on 22 February, the crowd was enormous.  Even with four Masses and ten priests and ministers, the three thousand-plus capacity church overflowed with worshippers at each Mass, sometimes with those outside outnumbering those inside the church. Such is the significance Christians place on the reception of ashes on Ash Wednesday, a biblical symbol of mourning and penance, of conversion and repentance. Interestingly, a good majority of those who received ashes on that day were not Catholics, or even Christians. 

Francis: The Pope After My Own Heart

In the one year that he has been the 265th successor of a first-century Galilean fisherman and known all over the world by the name of a thirteenth-century Italian preacher, Pope Francis has preached the gospel more by his life than any word he has spoken. Yet, his words strike the right chord in the hearts of his audience. Here are some of them that sate my heart:

"The perfect family doesn't exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let's not talk about the perfect mother-in-law! It's just us sinners." A healthy
family life requires frequent use of three phrases: "May I? Thank you, and I'm sorry" and "never, never, never end the day without making peace." (Meeting with engaged couples, Feb. 14, 2014)

"Faith is not a light which scatters all our darkness, but a lamp which guides our steps in the night and suffices for the journey. To those who suffer, God does not provide arguments which explain everything; rather, his response is that of an accompanying presence, a history of goodness which touches every story of suffering and opens up a ray of light." ("Lumen Fidei," June 29, 2013)

The 3Ws of Nollywood: Women, Wealth, and Witchcraft

Critics often upbraid Nollywood for what they term its "thematic obsession" with the occult world, obscenity, prostitution, and money worship. But according to Brian Larkin, "[i]t is the mixing of melodrama with horror and magic and the linkage of financial with sexual and spiritual corruption that makes the melodrama of Nigeria... video film distinctively African."

The critics contend that this "obsession" casts Nigeria and Africa in a negative light. What they fail to acknowledge, however, is that Nollywood frames and represents its society, drawing inspiration from its milieu. No doubt, it does exaggerate its representations for filmic effects, but it does not invent its narratives.

It derives its content mainly from the socio-cultural realities of its environment, constantly beaming its cinematic light on the ugly and uncomfortable realities within society and, instead of allowing us play the ostrich, forces us into an open discursive arena to keep talking about such issues like ritual killings and the burning, torturing, and even killing of innocent children under the guise of forcing witchcraft confessions out of them.

That Ellen's Record Oscar Selfie

The Igbo people of Nigeria have a proverb: "When a child washes clean her hands, she dines with the elders." A child is a child any day, any time, and in any culture. But when the child distinguishes herself through some extraordinary achievement, the elders make room for her in their midst.

Lupita Nyong'o found herself in the midst of the most revered "elders" of Hollywood on Sunday at the Oscars. She had washed clean her hands. She had earned her spot. And the elders applauded her, rewarding her with a golden statuette.

But then her brother, by that simple law of association which says that being at the right place at the time pays, got the center stage on Ellen DeGeneres' most retweeted selfie of all time. He couldn't believe his luck. His sister not only brought him into that close proximity with Hollywood's biggest stars but also made him an instant star all over the world with that selfie, which now has over three million retweets.

Nollywood and Nigeria's Cultural Diplomacy

Kanayo O. Kanayo

I recently obtained the beautifully written and well-argued paper presented by Kanayo O. Kanoyo at a Roundable on Culture and Diplomacy this past January in Washington, D.C. It argues for Nollywood's increasing importance in Nigeria's public diplomacy efforts and I thought it’s worth sharing.

For Nigeria’s Cultural Diplomacy

The choice of the topic is itself germane. In today’s turbulent world, diplomacy means that a country must take steps to achieve political goals and to promote its image in the international arena. It is becoming old fashioned for any country to rely solely on military and economic means in its relationship with other countries of the world. Countries interact with each other through diplomatic channels. Thus, countries have even moved beyond interacting with themselves alone – that is between governments, to interactions that are targeted at the people; that is, government and people; as well as people and people.


This form of diplomacy, called, public diplomacy, that manifests itself through the use of traditional and non-traditional media of communication including film and video, aims primarily at influencing global audiences. This is, as Cull (2007) says, “an attempt to manage the international environment through engagement with a foreign public.”


As it were, the explosion in information and communication technology has occasioned the globalization of print and electronic communication and this has impacted significantly on the number of media users worldwide. It follows then that a country’s status internationally will be determined by how well it controls information flow in the media and how well it manages the cultural component of its diplomacy.


Nollywood Comes to Town

Nollywood once again recently took center stage on an international platform to further the socio-cultural discourse it frames and represents within the African and African Diaspora discursive arena.

Holding at the Annenberg School for Communication, University of Southern California (USC), Los Angeles, California, the event, hosted by the USC Center for Public Diplomacy (CPD) at the Annenberg School, was the February 28 CPD 2014 Annual Conference titled "A New Era in Cultural Diplomacy: Rising Soft Power in Emerging Markets."

Panelists at the Conference

The conference, according to the organizers, aimed to explore the cultural diplomacy efforts pursued by a number of countries with emerging economies. Its idea was to enrich a global understanding of the opportunities and challenges facing institutions of cultural diplomacy in contemporary times.

During its early afternoon "Dialogue Through Films" session,  the President of Eko International Film Festival, Hope Obinna Opara, joined representatives of the Mexican, Turkish, and Polish film festivals in Los Angeles, to discuss the place of film festivals in global cultural diplomacy.

And the Oscar goes to Lupita Nyong'o!!!

Lupita Nyong'o, the stunning, ever-smiling Kenyan actress, won the Oscar for best supporting actress on Sunday, March 2, 2014. Nyong'o beat known Hollywood favorites in her category, like Jennifer Lawrence and Julia Roberts, to win the award for her astonishing role as the hardworking slave, Patsey, in Steve McQueen's drama, Twelve Years a Slave. The thunderous standing ovation she received from the audience was particularly heartwarming given that Patsey was her first feature film role.

The graduate of Yale Drama School's win at the 86th Academy Awards follows her taking the same awards at the Screen Actors Guild and the Broadcast Film Critics Assn. awards earlier in the year as well as receiving accolades from critics in Africa, Europe and North America.

The award, Reuters said, "marks Nyong'o's coronation into the top echelon of dramatic actresses working in Hollywood. She has also burnished her image as a new emblem of high fashion with her styles on the red carpet."

This is to a wonderful career for a most motivated sister. Congratulations!!!