On Marriage and Feminism

(By Temi Dayo) - On Marriage and Feminism: 

You cannot be married to a Nigeriàn and be an honest feminist. Truth is, to be married under any customary provisos in Nigeria, and perhaps in nearly all of Africa, is to become an enabler of Patriarchy by default.

It starts from the point where one party (by custom) waits for the other to propose, and the other by same custom expects to propose. Then it progresses to the observance of native traditional norms - bride price, dowry payment, and perhaps religious matrimonial rites which of course are the supreme establishments and reiteration of profound symbolisms of Misogyny.

Next would come the rituals of living and all observance of the quotidian. Who cements the ultimate identity of the offspring of the marriage? From whom do they derive their last name - the name which differentiates one Susan, that John and this Amarachi from all others of same name?

There you have it. The Nigeriàn feminist, whether male or female can not cross out all of the above boxes of official acquiescence to Patriarchy.

If they did, then they would stand out and everyone would have heard of that zany couple. Then we would wonder if indeed they are married because even by rule of court (Statutory matrimonials), which strives to equate the gender rights of both parties, the Marriage Certificate is given to the wife because she is the one whose official status is both altered and considered to be "enhanced" by the entire legal process of marriage to a man. All the man has done is the ordinary commonsense act of acquiring a chattel (property) to provide his daily​ comforts and help him procure children to propagate his lineage, seeing as nature has not endowed him with self-propagation apparatus.

The line of separation between "boys" and "men" is that one remains base, yet honest, to call his wife "property", while the other is at times discomfited at this consideration, and strives to regard his wife as a partner.

In either cases, a wife is still Property. This because she is an ACQUISITION of the husband. He would not be called a "husband" if he didn't procure a wife.

Marriage, in every Nigeriàn cultural paradigm is simply the act of procuring a female human by a male who has come of age, to take care of his home and see to his comforts and pleasures on the one hand, and the other, to do the higher service of helping him survive by incubating and nurturing his children from seed to human.

The only problem is that the Nigeriàn male child is generally moulded early to accept and be at peace with this sociological ordinance. The female is not. 
This is why the (Nigeriàn) married woman spends the bulk of her life in dishonest philosophising ("Submissive Perfectionism) or arrogant contrivances of "Married Feminist". 

The "feminist man" just goes along for the sake of peace. The foolish man is the one who goes to war with either camp of females.

Those who have sense know it is all a huge con, but who will tell (her)?

Good morning to all Nigeriàn humans of the Facebook. The floor is open. Come and disagree. We who are in the know will agree with you for the sake of peace.

Have you got your PVC?