This is Lagos: Tales From Daily Bus Ride IV

(By Jude Idada)

The driver kept his hand on the horn of the bus.
The honk was loud, continous and vexatious.

And as though obeying the order of a conductor in an orchestra, the other drivers in the cars and buses around the bus, did the exact thing.

The din was deafening.

The abuses started flying in pidgin and Yoruba as each driver cursed out the other driver.

I watched in silence from the first row of the bus in which I sat.

Wondering how vehicularly quiet the streets of Toronto were in comparison to those of Lagos. So quiet, you could go through a year without hearing the honk of a car.

We were heading to Victoria Garden City in Lekki and the traffic jam at the Jakande Junction - fifth roundabout - was holding us hostage.

I noticed his stare.

It was contemplative and unsettling as it rested uneasily on me.

I turned to him.

He was sitting right by me.

His red t-shirt was faded and had on the fore, written in broken white stripes - LIFE!

His eyes were fixated on the ring on my left hand.

Fourth finger counting from my thumb.

It is a large ring.

Silver.

With an anchor and seaman ropes engraved on it.

"You like am?"

I asked him.

He looked up at me and managed a smile.

"I wan like am die. Na illuminati sontin."

"Illuminati?"

"Yes na. Ogboni tins. Na powerful men dey wear am."

I laughed.

"Bros na true I dey talk. You dey setting or na lie I talk?"

"If I dey setting, I go dey inside this bus with you?"

"Forget that one, no be normal eye I dey use look you na, as you dey inside this bus, e get reason."

"Wetin be the reason?"

He laughed.

"Why you dey laugh?"

"You dey find my mouth na."

"No I dey serious, tell me why I enter dis bus?"

He stopped laughing.

There was a seriousness that immediately appeared on his face.

His jaw clenched and then relaxed.

"Na destiny you dey find."

"Destiny?"

"Yes na. If you nack pesin for body with dat ring im destiny don remove one time enter your body. Fiam!"

"And wetin I go use the destiny do?"

"You go use am invoke money na."

"I look like pesin wen get money?"

"See as you fresh, see your wristwatch, see your jeans, see the shoe wen you dey wear, see the phone for your hand, I no know wetin dat other tin be when you dey hold sef but e look like sometin wen dem dey use plenty money buy. Bros I don already weigh you before I talk wetin I talk. You no be like us at all."

I took it in for a moment.

He was watching me.

The bus finally freed itself from the gridlock and accelerated into freedom.

I asked him in a calm voice.

"So as you dey look me so, I fit take your destiny?"

"You fit na. If you see say I go be rich pesin for future you go take my destiny one time."

"You tink say I fit see future?"

"Dat one na one hand. Una kind don master dat one tey tey."

"How you know all dis tins sef?"

"E don tey wen I don dey find this kind level bros. I enter olumba olumba, notin. I waka enter Amorc. Notin. Enter Eckankar. nothing. Now I dey Synagogue dey look for way, but as per say God dey my side, e carry me kon sit for your side today."

I had to smile.

He smiled.

Then he spoke.

"Bros show me levels."

"I no get any levels."

"No do like dis na. Show man way. As I dey here so, I fit do anytin for levels to change. I don suffer too much for this life."

I looked at him for a moment.

His eyes were set on my face.

Fiercely.

"Serious, this ring na for New Orleans I buy am. Na fashion ring."

"New Orleans?"

"Yes."

"For Yankee?"

I nodded.

"Dat one na where dem dey do Mardi Gras na?"

I nodded.

"Ah bros. You no since wen I don dey dream of dat place? Ahhh see opportunity o. I don enter American embassy. Five times. Dem stamp my passport tire. Abeg you get the connect for visa?"

I shook my head.

"Bros na why you dey do like this na? Illuminati levels you do gree for your guy, visa you no wan show me way, na God make us meet today o. No fall my hand."

Just then the conductor called out.

"Igbo efun!"

I looked up.

"Owa."

"Igbo efun wa."

The conductor informed the driver.

The man beside me tapped my knee to attract my attention.

"Bros, help me na."

"I dey serious, I no fit get you visa. And I no dey any illuminati or Ogboni."

The bus stopped and the conductor alighted.

"Ajah! Ajah! Ajah!"

He called out as I alighted from the bus.

"Bros you no fit leave me like that na."

I turned around.

The man was standing there.

He had got out of the bus after me.

I stared at him surprised.

His eyes now had a desperation in them.

I felt fear.

It took me a while to disengage from him, cross the road and hurry to my appointment.

And I did that only after I gave him a couple of a thousand naira notes.

And my phone number.

Lagos.